Dear Tiger,

        I know you may have thought you were Cablinasian before, but after this scandal...you's a nigga! I'm sorry I had to say it. I knew you were a shady mutha**** before but DAMN. This sounds like a Jerry Springer episode. Not Jerry Springer now, I'm talking about Jerry Springer back in the 90s when it was good and juicy. You in a hotel room butt-naked eating grapes surrounded by hoes and exotic animals n sh** having orgies. Oh, you's a freaky nigga. You been watching too much Purple Rain my dude.
        Plus, your wife just Brenda Ritchie'd your ass. You been runnin from them sistas all this time and all your hoes dimed you out. Where they do that at? You even had an affair with Marlon Wayans in his White Chicks make-up, huh?? Stay in your lane Cheetah Woods! You just wasn't built for all this. You almost made it, too. If you would've lived a nice white life for a few more years you woulda been in, and you thought you were passing, huh???You might as well go ahead and eat that watermelon and chicken you been eyeing for a while now. The jig is up.

                                                                                  Sincerely,
                                                                                 Jai Lachelle